Lies

Today's Weight: 231.8 lbs
Weight Loss Needed for March 17th Goal: 6.8 lbs

Yesterday when I got home I called my buddy up in GR (he's also trying to lose weight) and we got to talking about how much we lied to ourselves before we started out. For him it took a buddy of his to tell him that he had a double chin and that just pissed him off so much he decided to do something about it. For me, it was a picture. I really wish someone would have said "wow, you've turned into a fatass" but no one every said anything close to that. Not "you're getting a little heavy" or "putting on some holiday weight" nothing, we were talking about this yesterday and he told me that he never really saw me as being that big. I told him how much I weighed, how big my pants are and stuff and he couldn't believe it last night.

So then we got to talking about how we tricked or lied to ourselves. I found that I use to by clothes that were to big on purpose, so that way I always felt a little smaller than I actually was. Instead of buying size 36 pants I would by 38 or 40 so that they would fall down and I could feel less fat. I'd buy shirts and sweatshirts that were too big, just a cycle like that.

I think it is a really good thing to discover things like these. I think I'm more aware of how I have cheated myself in the past. I feel like I'm past that now. You see like most of us, I have tried to lose weight before. I'm in my 2nd year at my gym, and I hit it pretty hard for about 3 weeks last year then just stopped going. What I realized yesterday was that whenever I was in the locker room I never would take my shirt off or take a shower there because I was embarrassed of how I looked. Now, I pretty much plan my day around the gym, three times this week I have taken my shower and gotten ready for work at the gym because I don't want to go after work. I'll walk around the locker room without a shirt on, or a towel around my waist because I realize this isn't who I am, it's just temporary. So I say, get a good look, because it isn't going to be here much longer.

In relation to my last blog I want to thank everyone that added input, I decided to just switch out a coulple of exercises and replace them with others that work the same muscle groups. We'll see how it works out. I hope I'm sore tomorrow. I love feeling sore, and I don't really get that feeling all to often anymore. The workouts are going well and if you've been reading my blog you saw that I had a rough weekened eating wise, but I'm doing excellent this week. I just feel that I'm not eating enough most days. I guess I'm pretty lucky that I don't have huge hunger cravings, but I don't like the fact that I feel that I'm under eating. This is what I had yesterday, yogurt for breakfast, 6in chicken breast subway sandwich (no cheese, just vegs and spicy mustard), and then a chicken breast and some veggies for dinner. I didn't snack or anything. I don't know how people can do the whole eating 6x a day. It kills me, so hopefully I'm still being healthy in my approach, because I go pretty hardcore at the gym, I guess I'm just a little concerned with not eating enough calories to help fuel my body.

Sorry, this is kind of a long blog, so I'll end it here. Have a great day